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Expectations might be the culprit of your anxiety/depression

Its December 23rd, two days before Christmas, a day you have been so excited for. You picture your family waking up, smiling from cheek to cheek, possibly even singing your favorite song in harmony. Breakfast is perfectly prepared, by your wife, husband or even your kids, who woke up early just to surprise you. Everyone, after opening their presents, are saying things like thank you, I love you, this is the best Christmas ever.

I think you get the picture. This might or might not be a realistic expectation of the day to come but no matter what, it’s an expectation, because it’s something we are wanting and somewhat expecting without giving anybody else, free will or room for error. . By doing this, we are unfortunately causing false expectations, for the ones we love, hang out with, work with or just see throughout the day. By setting expectations in advance we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and most importantly we are never in the present.

We are living a life in our mind instead of what’s really happening (reality). If we do this too much, we lose our ability to find special moments in the now because we’re too concentrated on how the day is ruined from what you thought it should look like instead of the beauty of what it actually is.

Being depressed or anxiety ridden is a horrible feeling. We make it worse by expecting the worst before we even have to do anything. So then in turn we don’t do anything. We don’t change our lives, we don’t learn, we start to live in this false reality of expectations that will never happen. We are always disappointed, the world is against me, I am stuck, etc….. It’s a cycle you have to change, you have to be part of everyday without expectations of bad or good. Be in the present knowing whatever happens throughout the day you are willing to learn, laugh, smile, cry, play, or do whatever you need to in the moment but then leave it there and move on. A moment doesn’t define who you are, it’s the ability to learn from that moment and go back to living in the present.

Don’t get expectations and goals for your life mixed up. They are very different. One is good and the other one you need to stray away from. A goal is great when you realize it can change and adapt but it will never be a disappointment because you expected it. Goals make you move forward towards something you want but the best thing about goals. Goals don’t need to be achieved for you to feel successfull, it’s what you learn from trying to achieve that goal that brings success. Some goals you’ll get, some you won’t, but the power of what you learn from trying to achieve them is the magic, the purpose, the meaning of who you are becoming. Don’t let the disappointment, of an expectation of finishing a goal, ruin the true happiness of what that goal has done for your life! You are better off today then you were yesterday because of that goal and the purpose it has given your life.

I wish I would of known the power of this message a long time ago but the good news is that I know it now. I didn’t expect to be a stay at home dad. I didn’t expect being depressed for such a long time. I didn’t expect to be sick for 2 1/2 years in middle school, I didn’t expect to go from making 150k a year to unemployed, I didn’t expect a lot of things. The power of getting older is the ability to look back on your life and see things that seemed truly horrible at the time, turn out to be some of life’s true blessings.

Life and this world has always been, it will always be and will always go on without us but how we perceive it in our head is the only true power we have in this world. So stop making expectations for your life and go out and live it, as it is now. Have a heart to learn and not be afraid but be willing to love and love unconditionally and without fear. We are in this together so let’s all help each other live our best life.

Have a Merry Christmas or whatever you choose to celebrate. Hold onto your loved ones, meet new friends, and be there in the moment. You’ll be truly happier. Love you and hope your journey gets better and better.

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Be Grateful

There is always something to be grateful for. It is up to you to hold onto it and make it your focus.

Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.

The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.

-Zig Ziglar

This is the # 1 thing you can do to get your mind from drifting into depression. Depression is a big net that captures everything that is good around you and makes you blind to it or numb to it. So it’s our job, to cut big holes into that net, and not let it capture what we know is good.

Every morning, before I do anything, I think of one thing I’m so grateful for.

My wife is out of town and my son is sick, so I let him sleep in our bed halfway through the night last night. Even though it is harder to sleep, I love him by my side, knowing I am close, if he needs anything. So this morning, I woke up, looked at my precious son and realized how grateful I am to have such a wonderful son in my life. I’m grateful for his ability to fight this sickness and how he can still be so happy even with that runny nose and fever.

Exercise #1

-Buy a journal and a pen

-Whenever your feeling depressed, anxious, sad, overwhelmed, take a minute and write down what your grateful for. Do this throughout the day and then at night go over that list. Do this everyday and you’ll start training your inner thoughts to be grateful and to look for the good.

Depending on how long you have been depressed this could take time but don’t give up on it. Your mind is programmed to look for things throughout the day that we concentrate on, good or the bad, so might as well be concentrating on the good. The biggest lie of people with depression, is that they will always be depressed. We have to change our brains inner thoughts to look for the good and that cloud will start to vanish and that sun will start shining through again, I promise.

Be grateful throughout the day, everyday!

What are you grateful for?

 

Depression is like cloudy days, no matter what, they always cover up the sun, it’s up to us to find that sunshine.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Depression can go fuck it self! There is no reason for it and it pisses me off, how it comes back with vengeance, if you’re not fully aware of how to deal with it. We must be willing to agree there is an evil beyond our own power and we need a higher power to defeat it. If you want to get better, face it, you can’t do it by yourself. You need a higher power and for me that’s Jesus and his words washed over me everyday. So here is a book I always refer back to, every time I feel low. Memorize some of these and know they are way more powerful than anything else in your arsenal. So good luck and let’s be the best version of ourselves.

Now, the method for using this booklet: 

1. I suggest that you read it through quickly at one  reading to get the over-all impact of 40 of the greatest  gems of thought ever spoken. 

2. Start at the beginning and memorize one verse a  day. Meditate upon the brief message given with each.  Then practice the simple techniques suggested. 

3. It may be that one or two or more of these will  have a particularly strong effect upon you. In that case, I suggest that you remove it from the book, put it in your  pocket, under the glass of your desk, or on your  dressing table so that you can see it every day and thus it can become your dominating thought. These are not arranged according to problems or  categories. Neither are theyselected on any basis of  relative importance. I have listed them just as they have come out of my own mind, one after the other. Perhaps God sorted them for this particular purpose. I give them to you with the prayer that these brief spiritual  Thought Conditioners may add to the happiness and usefulness  of your life.

1. The things, which are impossible with men are possible with God.  —Luke 18:27This text shows how to do an “impossible” thing. Size up your problem, pray about it, do all you can about it. If it seems impossible, don’t give up, but affirm, “The  things which are impossible with men are possible with  God.” Keep relaxed. Don’t worry. Avoid getting panicky.  Never think, “This can’t be done.” Declare, “It can be  done, it is being done because God is doing it through me.” Affirm that the process is in operation. The final  outcome may not be entirely what you now desire. But,  handled in this manner, the solution will be what God  wants it to be. 

2. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your  heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.  —John 14:27 Without a deep inner state of quietness, one becomes prey to tension, worry, and ill health. A song, a sunset, moonlight, the sea washing on a sandy shore,  these administer a healing balm. But they lack power to penetrate the inner recesses of the soul. A profound depth therapy is required to attain healing quietness. An habitual repetition of this one text will, in  time, permeate your personality with a complete sense  of peace. When tense or restless, sit quietly and allow these  words to pass unhindered through your thoughts.  Conceive of them as spreading a healing balm  throughout your mind. 

3. Renew a right spirit within me.  —Psalm 51:10 Here is a fragment of a verse, which will bring you  friends, health, happiness, and success. It can improve your disposition. The word disposition refers to the manner in which  you are disposed to react to situations and people. If  your automatic emotional reaction is irritable, crabby,  selfish, haughty, it impairsor even destroys your  relationships. The quality of your disposition depends upon your  inner spirit. This thought conditioner, by the use of the  word “renew,” implies that  when you were created, you  had a good disposition. If you have allowed it to deteriorate, Almighty God,  who created you, can recreate and renew in you the fine balance, the controlled spirit. He can restore that vital  factor in a good disposition, inner quiet control. Let no  day pass after today that you do not say many times,  “Renew a right spirit within me.” 

4. Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  —Matthew 11:28 Perhaps the strain and burden of life have made you tired. If so, maybe you are carrying life too heavily. Primarily, we do not get tired in our muscles but in  our minds. We develop that “I’m swamped” feeling. Allow this text to dissolve in your thoughts as a kind  of spiritual lozenge. As you turn to Jesus in your  thoughts, He will give you rest. And how does He do  that? One way is by showing you how to work. “Learn of Me,” He says. In other words, work by My  method. “My yoke is easy, and My burden is light”  (Matthew 11:30). That is to say, easy does it. Don’t  strain, don’t tug, relax. Do one job at a time using the  light touch, the easy stroke. 

5. What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.  —Mark 11:24 To pray successfully, you  must employ affirmation and visualization. Form a picture in your mind, not of  lack or denial or frustration or illness, but of prosperity,  abundance, attainment, health. Always remember you  will receive as a result of prayer exactly what you think, not what you say. If you pray for achievement but think  defeat, your words are idle because your heart has  already accepted defeat. Therefore, practice believing that even as you pray  you are receiving God’s boundless blessings, and they  will come to you. 

6. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not  unto thine own understanding.  —Proverbs 3:5 This text will help you avoid a nervous breakdown. It will stimulate your recovery if you have had one. A famous neurologist, a specialist in nervous  breakdowns often “prescribes” this text for his patients.  He writes the words on a card and instructs his patient to commit them to memory and repeat them until they are  indelibly printed on the subconscious mind. The cause of much nervous trouble is frustration.  And the antidote to frustration is a calm faith, not in your own cleverness, or in hard toil, but in God’s guidance.  The cure of frustration is the belief that God will help you obtain your heart’s desire. Trust in God with all your  heart, and you will be able to keep on working in health and happiness for long years to come. 

7. I am come that they might have life, and that they  might have it more abundantly.  —John 10:10 Many people are lacking in energy. Their vitality is  low. They are filled with inner conflicts, which dissipate  energy. They are dull and apathetic.  What is the secret of  energized life? Christ is the  answer. It is said of Him, “In Him was life” (John 1:4). Fill your mind  with Christ, fill your heart with Him, and  inevitably energy, vitality, exuberance, delight, and  eagerness will well up within you. Every day as you repeat this text make it read,  “Christ has come that I (fill in your own name) might  have life and might have it more abundantly.”

 8. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.  —James 5:16 God does heal. He does it in two ways, through sci-ence and through faith. In healing, confession is important, for much illness  results from buried resentments and guilt. Confession to a competent counselor releases these poisons,  cleanses the mind and soul, thus stopping the passing  on of diseased thoughts to the body. Effectual prayer,  that is scientific prayer, is very powerful. The essence of the technique is confess your faults,  pray with kindred spirits even if separated by distance,  and enthusiastically (fervently) believe. 

9. If God be for us, who can be against us?  —Romans 8:31 Imagine yourself as actually looking at all your diffi-culties like an army lined up against you. Then realize you have a backing that can overcome  them all. As you face these enemies of yours—discouragement, frustration,  disappointment, hostility,  weakness—ask yourself, “What shall I say to these  things?” And the answer is, “If God be for us, who can  be against us?” Now, spend a minute realizing that God is for you  and say this affirmation: “God is with me. God is for me. God is greater than all these things.” Then visualize these enemies of your peace and  happiness as retreating, giving way before God’s power. Personalize the text by saying: “If God be for  me, who can be against me?” The repetitive use of this text will give you an  enormous sense of God’s presence and a powerful  feeling of victory. 

10. The kingdom of God is within you.  —Luke 17:21 When you are filled with self-doubt, and in the grip of your inferiority complex, don’t give up saying, “I can’t do it, I haven’t it in me.” You  do have a very big “it” within  you. You have the Kingdom of God within you. God has placed in your personality all the ability you need. You have only to believe in yourself, and strength within you will be released. In saying the text, try it this way, “God’s abundance,  peace, and power are within me. I lack for nothing.” 

11. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of  power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  —II Timothy 1: 7 Your fears can be healed by this text. It tells us, first, that fear is overcome by power. What power? There is  only one force more powerful than fear, and that is faith. When fear comes to your mind, counter it with an  affirmation of faith Second, love overcomes fear. By love is meant trust, confidence, complete dependence upon God. Practice  this attitude and fear will diminish. The third element is to attain a sound mind in which  there are no complexes, quirks, and obsessions. Live  with the thought of God, and you will develop a sound  mind where no shadowy fear can lurk. Whenever you are afraid, verbalize against the thing that you fear, using the words of this text. 

12. Thou shalt guide me with Thy counsel, and  afterward receive me to glory.  —Psalm 73:24 Perhaps, today, you have a problem, which has baf-fled you. Try allowing this text to penetrate your mind un-til it becomes a dominating conception, and it will do  some important things for you. It will make you understand that there is an answer to every problem, and that God is thinking along with you.  It will bring to bear upon your problem that keen and  sharp perception of wisdom called insight. If you put every problem in God’s hands, ask Him to give you the right answer, believe that He is doing just  that, and will take the guidance that comes, your  decisions will turn out right. 

13. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God  that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. —Ephesians 6:13 This is one of the greatest of all techniques of mental health. It teaches that when we have done all that we  can do about a given matter, we are not to get worried or in a panic or be filled with anxiety, but take a calm  philosophical attitude concerning it. When you have done all that you can do, don’t try to do any more, just “stand.” Relax, stop, be quiet, don’t  fuss about it; you have done everything possible; leave  the results to God. 

14. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help  in trouble.  —Psalm 46:1 When trouble strikes, what you want is comfort and  protection. You want strength to stand up to it and meet it. You can have both. This text contains the answer.  Frequently remind yourself that  God is with you that He will never fail you that you can count upon Him. Say  these words, “God is with me, helping me.” This will give you a sense of comfort. New hope will  flood your mind. New ideas will come. A new sense of  power will be felt. As a result, you will rise above your  trouble. When a particular trouble arises, before you do anything else about it, sit down quietly, repeat this text a half dozen times, and put your full faith in it. 

15. He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.  —Proverbs 16:20 To live successfully, one must overcome blundering  ineptness, the tendency to do and say the wrong thing.  One must develop the deft and skillful touch that makes things turn out right. A thing does not go wrong because of some perverse fate. It is more than likely that you lack the right slant, the proper approach. If such is the case, what you need is wisdom. If you  let today’s text seep from your conscious to your  subconscious mind, it will correct the error pattern within you and gradually endow you with wisdom. 

16. Incline your ear, and come unto Me: hear, and your  soul shall live. —Isaiah 55:3 Most people live on the surface. They miss the most astonishing things. They see and yet they do not see.  And the reason is they aren’t really looking. The same is true about what they hear. They listen  with the outer ear, only. For example, people go to  church, and the Gospel never penetrates beyond the  outer consciousness. That is because people do not  listen with all their faculties. They do not lose themselves in it. But when one inclines his ear and hears, listening as though his life depended upon it, getting every word,  letting it sink into his mind by a deep and powerful  penetration, then the message falls like a healing  potency upon him. Every spiritual disease germ is killed, and he lives with new health and strength. 

17. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding  abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.  —Ephesians 3:20 Today, remind yourself that nothing is too good to be true. Your great hopes can be realized. Your most  wonderful dreams can come true. All that you really  need, you can have. An incredible goodness is operating in your behalf. If you are living a paltry life, resolve to stop it today.  Expect great things to happen. Confidently receive  God’s abundant blessings. Do not think lack. Instead  think prosperity, abundance, the best of everything. God wants to give to you, His child, every good thing. Don’t  hinder His generosity. 

18. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall  find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  —Matthew 7:7 This is a very practical technique of prayer. It works  amazingly. One reason we do not get answers to our  prayers is that we ask, but do not really expect to re-ceive. We are expert askers, but inexpert receivers. This spiritual formula tells us to ask and then  immediately conceive of ourselves as receiving. For  example, to be free from fear, ask the Lord to free you.  Then believe that He has immediately done so. The minute you express your faith by sincerely asking Him  for a blessing and believe your prayer is answered, your prayer is answered. 

19. I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.  —Philippians 4: 11 Your present situation may not be to your liking.  Perhaps you are dissatisfied and discouraged. Put the  matter in God’s hands. If He wants you elsewhere, He  will lead you there, providing you are amenable to His  will. But perhaps He wants you where you are. In that case, He will help you to adjust to the situation. He will  make you content, even grateful for present opportunities. Learn the great art of doing the best you  can, with what you have, where you are. When you do this, you learn how to reach the better condition, or how to make your present situation a better one. 

20. My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expecta-tion is from Him.  —Psalm 62:5One of the most serious and powerful facts in human nature is that you are likely to get what you are basically expecting. Spend years developing the mental attitude  of expecting that things are not going to turn out well,  and you are likely to get that result. You create a mental condition slanted to an unhappy outcome. If, on the contrary, you develop and maintain a  mental attitude of faith and expectancy—hoping,  dreaming, believing, praying, working—you will create  conditions in which every good thing can and will grow.  Fill your mind with the positive power of spiritual  expectancy, and God and His good will flow toward you. 

21. Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, nei-ther be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.  —Joshua 1:9 Here is a mental stimulus of tremendous power, which, if received and retained in your consciousness,  will give you courage to overcome every difficulty. Nothing can ever dismay you. You may question  whether mere words can accomplish so great a result, but never minimize the creative force of an active idea. A mental concept has more voltage than electricity;  civilizations are changed by ideas. Emerson said,  “Beware of an idea whose time has come.” 

22. Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.  —Romans 12:2 People often manufacture their own unhappiness by  the negative manner in which they think about things.  Work with your mind, exercise disciplinary control, and  re-slant your thoughts for happier living. Drain the mind, by consciously conceiving of yourself as dropping out every destructive thought, every fear,  every inferiority feeling. Picture your mind as completely empty. Then start filling it  with thoughts of God, and of  Christ, thoughts about every good and pleasant thing.  Practice this new habit regularly twice every day, morning and evening, to counteract the older and  negative habit of allowing unhappy things to occupy your mind. In due course, unhappy thoughts will not feel at  home in your mind, and happy thoughts will transform  you. 

23. But as many as received Him, to them gave He  power.  —John 1:12 You can possess within yourself all the power you  will ever need in life. The method for securing power is very simple and  depends entirely upon you. This text gives the formula: It is to “receive” Christ. When  this is sincerely done, you  will in turn receive power. And how do you receive Him? Simply decide that you want Him, tell Him so and mean it. Then, starting today, begin to live on a basis you know He would approve. The essence of the formula is surrender to God’s will and Christ’s way. It is the acceptance of a new manner  of thought and life. Continue  to re-surrender yourself  every day, and in proportion as you do so, you will feel  spiritual power surging in. 

24. The thing, which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.  —Job 3:25 This thought conditioner states a very serious warn-ing. If, over a long period of time, a person habitually  fears something, there is a tendency for that fear to be-come a reality. For example, if you fear that you are going to fail, and you constantly entertain thoughts of failure, you will  create a mental condition that is propitious to failure.  Creative, positive, success factors are repelled by your  mind because your mind is filled with defeat attitudes. On the contrary, if you hold the faith thought, the  positive thought, you will  create about yourself an atmosphere propitious to success, health and well-being. 

25. This one thing I do, forgetting those things, which  are behind, and reaching forth unto those things  which are before, I press toward the mark for the  prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.  —Philippians 3:13-14 Every person, if he is to have mental health and live successfully, must move away from past failures and  mistakes and go forward without letting them be a  weight upon him. The art of forgetting is absolutely necessary. Every night when you lie down to sleep, practice dropping the  day into the past. It is over, finished. Look confidently to the future with God. 

26. In all these things we are more than conquerors  through Him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall  be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  —Romans 8:37-39 These words mean that no matter what happens, nothing can separate you from God’s love and  protection. The secret is to build up in your mind, day by day, the knowledge and realization of God’s presence  and His love for you. Dwell on this mentally until it becomes an unshakeable fact. 

27. If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink.  —John 7:37Every now and then, deep unsatisfied longings well  up within us. We may seem to have everything the heart can desire and ought to be perfectly satisfied. But still  these vague dissatisfactions alloy our happiness. When you notice such feelings, try saying this verse  a few times. As you do so, try to imagine how Jesus  looked when He said these words: the kindness, the  understanding, the peace on His face. Try picturing  yourself as receiving from Him a drink of cold water—symbolic of the water of life that completely satisfies  thirst so that one never thirsts again. Affirm that you  receive from Him the ultimate in soul satisfaction. A  deep inner peace will gradually grow upon you. 

28. Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do  good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.  —Matthew 5:44 Make a list of all the people who have hurt and mis-treated you or whom you do not like. Then pray for each by name and sincerely practice forgiving each one. Ask the Lord to bless them. Tell the Lord that you want to  mean this. Repel the thought that after all you are “justi-fied” in your resentment. Then speak kindly about these persons to others. Go out of your way to help them. This will, in time, break  down many barriers, but even  if it shouldn’t, the effect  upon you will be amazing. It will clear the channel  through which spiritual power flows into you. 

29. I can do all things through Christ, which strength-eneth me.  —Philippians 4:13This is an antidote for every defeat feeling. If you feel downed by situations, and the going is hard, this  statement will remind you  that you do not need to  depend upon your own strength entirely, but that Christ  is with you and is now giving you all the help you need. Teach yourself to believe that through Christ’s help  you can do all things. As you continue this affirmation,  you will actually experience  Christ’s help. You will find  yourself meeting problems with new mental force. You  will carry heavy burdens with ease. Your new “lifting”  power will amaze you. 

30. In Him we live, and move, and have our being.  —Acts 17:28 This text is a formula for maintaining physical, men-tal, and spiritual energy. The tension and pressure of  modern living draws wearily upon our energies. But here we have a renewal method. The text reminds us that  God created us and that He can constantly and auto-matically re-create us. The secret is to maintain contact with God. This channels vitality and energy and constant replenishment into our being. Every day, preferably about mid-afternoon when an  energy lag usually comes, try repeating this text while  visualizing yourself as “plugged” into the spiritual line.  Affirm that God’s recreative  energy is restoring strength  and power to every part of your body, your mind, and  your soul. 

31. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old  things are passed away; behold all things are  become new.  —II Corinthians 5:17 Never be discouraged about yourself. You may have tried all your life long to rid yourself of your weaknesses, your obsessions, jealousies, sins, inferiorities, without  success. Your failure is probably that you have been try-ing to make yourself over. That is a long, tedious, and  essentially impossible project. But it can be done in no time at all by Christ. All you need do is to say to Him simply, “Lord, I do not want to be this way anymore,” and mean it. He will do for you  what you cannot do for yourself—effect a lasting change in you. Ask Him to change you. 

32. Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou  removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall  not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those  things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall  have whatsoever he saith.  —Mark 11:23 Almost alone this passage can revolutionize your life and change defeat into victory. What does it tell you? That your “mountain,” that  great rock—like obstruction, that tremendous barrier,  can be broken down and ousted from your life. You must not doubt “in your heart.” Allow no negative thoughts to  exist in your subconscious mind. Pray that your mountainous difficulty shall be  removed and, as you pray, believe that it is being done  then and now. Don’t have the hazy idea that “this  mountain” may be removed sometime in the future, but  believe that God is removing it for you now. 

33. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their  strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.  —Isaiah 40:31 This beautiful sentence describes the greatest ex-perience that can ever happen to you. It is called spiri-tual experience. You get it by completely surrendering  yourself to God, and experiencing His presence. Then the heavy weights of your life drop away, and you are  lifted to eagle-like levels of freedom and power. But no one can permanently live in such exalted  emotional heights. Nevertheless, the power stays with you so that you can move through life with a speed and strength you never had before; you can “run and not be weary.” Then even when you get up against day-by-day situations that used to be difficult and monotonous, this  power is so great that  it keeps you going without  depletion of strength. Spiritual experience begins by lifting you to new high levels, after which it helps you to keep going with continuous power. 

34. Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have en-tered into the heart of man, the things which God  hath prepared for them that love Him.  —I Corinthians 2:9 Possibly life has become difficult—even dismal. You  may not be getting zest or thrill out of living. The text for today will restore the old delight in life. It tells you that you have never seen, nor heard, nor even imagined all the marvelous, amazingly fascinating things that God will do for those who love Him, trust Him, and  put His principles into practice. As you surrender your life to God, every experience  of living will grow increasingly more wonderful. 

35. Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be  moved.  —PsaIm 55:22 A human mind can stand only so much weight. One  mental burden piled upon another, unless relief is ob-tained, will in due course reach your breaking point and cause serious difficulty. Fortunately, you do not need to  carry your burdens without assistance. God will help you carry them. But how is this done? It is accomplished in the mind. Practice thinking that God is actually with you. Tell Him  about your burdens, and believe that He relieves and  assists you. Form a picture of yourself as shifting your  burdens to Him. He is willing to assume them and is  perfectly able to do so. But, and this is most important,  don’t half give them. And don’t take them back. Let God handle them. Leave them with Him. 

36. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is  stayed on Thee. —Isaiah 26:3 If your mind is filled with defeat thoughts, fear  thoughts, resentment thoughts, you are bound to be in a state of mental unrest, even turmoil, and of course there can be no inner peace. This passage advises you to practice thinking about  God, to keep your mind “stayed” or fixed, not upon your troubles but upon God. Keep your mind on God for as many minutes during  the day as possible. This may be difficult at first for you are unused to spiritual concentration. Practice will make it easier. 

37. This is the refreshing.  —Isaiah 28:12 These few words remind us of a spring of cool water because of their renewing quality. The frequent use of  today’s text has an invigorating effect. Sometimes, after a busy day or even in the midst of  exacting activities, stop and say these words over to  yourself and note how they dissipate weariness and  refresh the body, mind, and spirit. The best method for using these words is to say  them slowly, emphasizing their soft quiet melody. At the same time conceive of peace, rest, and renewal as  coming to you. 

38. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered  me from all my fears.  —Psalm 34:4A cure for fear that will absolutely work is to get close to God in your thoughts. He is the only certain unchang-ing factor in the world. He will never let you down nor  forget you. If plagued by fear, do what this text says: “Seek the Lord.” That may be done by spending 15 min-utes every day just thinking about God. You can split this up into five minute periods, but never let a day pass  without spending 15 minutes thinking about God. Each day, make the following statement, “I surrender myself and all my problems, my loved ones, my future  into the hands of God, and I trust Him.” Three times every day, thank God for all His goodness. Soon your life will be filled with God, and  emptied of apprehensions. 

39. When ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught  against any.  —Mark 11:25 If you are not getting answers to your prayers, check yourself very thoroughly and honestly as to whether you have resentments in your mind. Spiritual power cannot pass through a personality  where resentment exists.  Hate is a non-conductor of spiritual energy. I suggest that every time you pray, you add this  phrase, “Lord, take from  my thought all ill will, grudges,  hates, jealousies.” Then practice casting these things  from your thoughts. 

40. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more;  neither shall the sunlight on them, nor any heat. For the lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall  feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from  their eyes.  —Revelation 7:16-17 This is one of the most comforting passages in all  literature. It teaches that our loved ones are in a place of peace and beauty. They are under the watchful care of  God and regularly experience His tenderness. The deep hunger and thirst of their souls has been satisfied. God, like a loving mother, puts His protection over them and with a kindly hand wipes away every tear from their  eyes. This He has done for your dear ones who have  crossed over to the other side. If you learn to love this passage and meditate upon it, He will wipe away every tear from your eyes, also. 

Thought Conditioners By Norman Vincent Peale Forty powerful spiritual phrases that can change the quality of your life

Since happiness and effectiveness depend upon the  kinds of thoughts we think, it is absolutely impossible to be happy if we think unhappiness-producing thoughts. One of the wisest men who ever lived was Marcus  Aurelius, who said, “A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.” If you put into your mind thoughts of fear, you will get thoughts of fear out of your mind. Fill your mind with  resentment thoughts, and resentment attitudes will  emerge. And in neither case, of course, can you find  happiness-inducing thoughts. Whatever the condition of  your mind, the  Thought Conditioners I am going to  suggest are so powerful that they will displace unhealthy thoughts. Indeed, displacement is the only way you can drive a thought from the mind. In my experience through many years in working with people, I have discovered that  the most vital, creative  and positive thoughts are those  stated in the Bible. Its  words are alive. The Bible itself states what its spiritual  words will do. “If ye abide in Me and My words abide in you ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto  you.” This means, simply, that if you fill your mind with  spiritual words so that they  sink from your conscious to  your subconscious mind by a process of spiritual  osmosis, you will so condition your personality with  spiritual power and sensitivity that God’s will can operate in you. Every great value of this life, the ones that really matter, shall then be yours. The words of the Bible are  powerful Thought Conditioners. They are capable of  revolutionizing the entire personality. Over the years, I had noticed that certain passages from the Scriptures had a particularly potent effect on  human beings. I began, therefore, to list the life-creating words from the Scriptures that had done me the most  good. Many of these I had recommended to others.  Some of them had been called to my attention by people in whom there had occurred the most astonishing  demonstration of new life and joy. When I applied them  to myself, I found they did indeed possess tremendous  effectiveness. The process I have used both personally and in  counseling, which has accomplished most impressive  results, is simply that of committing these great  passages to memory. One puts them in the mind as in a sort of spiritual medicine cabinet, each to be drawn out  as needed for specific ills or maladies of the personality, or to meet life’s situations as they develop. As suggested above, the method is also to conceive of these thoughts as having displacement value, crowding out injurious thought patterns. The best results are gained by utilizing spare minutes to say these Scripture passages, or  Thought Conditioners,over and over. As you are riding on a bus or train, or washing the dishes, or waiting for an appointment, utilize  fractional moments to dwell and meditate upon the  meaning of these texts. As you do so, there will flash out  from them new insights, new perceptions of truth.  Gradually, by a deep therapy, they will drive into the mind until presently your life will  become a living demonstration  of God’s power. The booklet contains 40 creative and vital passages. Why 40? Perhaps because in His own deepest spiritual experience, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert withstanding temptation. There is no magic to the  number 40, but it so happened that when I finished my  list it totaled 40. There are many more vital passages. In fact, you can read and re-read the Bible for a lifetime and never  exhaust its wisdom. This is my 40, and when you complete these and feel that they are in your permanent possession, explore the Scriptures further and find the many others that will have the same health-giving effect in your life.

Understanding your responsibility once you have kids.

We don’t have a choice in being part of this world. We are here because our parents decided to have us. That’s the honest truth and it comes with great responsibility when deciding to bring someone into this world. It’s not like your committing to a puppy or a material item. You’re responsible for a living, breathing beautiful creation.

One of the biggest things people forget about when becoming a parent is you’re not just committing to being a parent. Your committing to being a mentor, counselor, health advisor, grandparent, great grandparent and so on. Too many people don’t realize you are committing yourself to a lifetime of responsibilities and mentorship to this little one and his/her family someday.

Don’t let your hobbies ever come above and beyond being a good parent. When you have kids your lifestyle must change. You cannot still be obsessed with things that break down your relationships. You must embrace your new role and find things that can bring the family together. Don’t think for one second you can’t find new hobbies that include the ones you love. One thing, of many things we lose as we get older, is the realization that you can learn new things. It’s actually way more fun learning new things and mastering them and then going on to something else. Then someday in the future, you can implement your old hobbies, for your kids to enjoy with you. It will be a fresh and healthy new start to something you once loved.

With that said, don’t give up on your hobbies. Just be aware of the destruction of an unhealthy hobby that could possibly implode your family. Nothing in a healthy relationship can involve around something selfish. Find boundaries and work on them. I love to fish. Half the year I was on the river fishing. Now I go once, maybe twice a month, but I know this is just a little chapter of my life and when my kids are old enough to go, I might go more, I might not. It won’t matter because I will find new hobbies that are just as meaningful and I will still go once in awhile.

Grandparents don’t forget that your job isn’t done when that little one has his or her own family. They still need you more than ever. Not too long ago, our culture embraced the “It takes a village to raise a family”. We have went away from that and it’s not good. I believe its mostly for selfish reasons. I paid my dues and now its your turn? Im not sure what goes through some grandparents minds when it comes to grandchildren, or their own children for that matter when they get older, but it has to change. Grandkids and kids need healthy parents and grandparents to show them valuable lessons and to show them how family is always there for them. No one should feel alone but I feel like so many parents need help from their parents but they are no where to be seen. Someone once told me “If I’m not close to them, I don’t worry about them as much.” Well that someone you’re not close to now feels like your not close to them and guess what…… this makes them feel unwanted, disconnected and lost. God is always there for us and that is why he is the ultimate parent figure. It is up to us to model this for our kids and grandkids and so on. Keep reaching out, mentor, take time to just be there. Don’t take the easy way because it’s easy for you. Thats a cop out and it’s very unhealthy for you and the people that you could help with your presence.

My wife’s mom and dad are great examples of this. They are always coming up to Montana to watch the kids. Coming up for birthday parties, special events or just to be here for us. Last year they came up for two weeks, so I could elk hunt with my Dad. They blessed me so much with that. I was able to spend time with my Dad that I will cherish forever. Plus they were able to bond with our kids in a way Wesley and Joey will also cherish forever. Time is the biggest gift and you should always prioritize your time. Family should come first and if it doesn’t it might be time to change that. Big shout out to my mom as well. She has been though so much heartache but whenever she has a spare second, she is coming up to see us and our kiddos :). She also always makes sure Tracy and I go on date nights, when she is here. Also, big shout out to my Dad and his wife Michelle. As busy as they are, they still give us much needed breaks by watching the kids and going on adventures with all of us! Also, Tracy’s Dad Mike recently moved to Montana and we love our Sunday’s together. We go to church and the dollar store afterwards where he always seems to sneak a toy for them, even though they already have too many!!

I don’t know where I would be, without a supportive family, with all that I went through. I was one of those people, from someone else’s perspective, who should’t of been depressed but guess what… it can happen to everyone. Don’t ever think someone is okay just by the way you see their life in your glasses. So it’s up to us, for the people we love, to always be in there lives, through good and bad.

You want to help your kids and protect them from depression, anxiety, sadness, or any evil in this world. Give them your full undivided attention whenever possible. Give them steadfast love, positive encouragement, and a person that will always pick them over anything else besides their mother. To have healthy kids you need to show them your spouse comes first.

Don’t ever crush your kids dreams or ambitions no matter how crazy they sound. Kids need to know you believe in them. If it’s an impossible feat then let them find that out on their own. Never, never let them think for one second you don’t believe in them. That hurts them more than you know. They should always know, no matter what, you think they can conquer anything. Who are we to say they can’t? We shouldn’t limit them for our own beliefs.

Moral of this post is to never think your job is done once your a parent. Your role only gets bigger the larger your family grows. You will always be a vital part of your family and they need you. Be a rock for them and also a tree with lots of shade on those hot days. Don’t sit back and be a person that only helps out when its convenient for you. We need to show our kids that they matter all the time. Feeling loved is one of the most vital parts of being mentally healthy. It starts with us and how we prioritize our littles life, their life when they get older and their littles lives when we are older. Its a circle and it’s never too late to be the person you ought to be for them.

How do I help my loved one with depression?

Ignoring the depression will only make it worse. Time to confront it and conquer it!

You know someone who is depressed and want to help. Where do you start?

Here are my top 10 things I would suggest. Hope this helps.

#1 – Love them but don’t enable them.

There is a fine line of loving and enabling . Have a open dialoge on why they are feeling the way they are. Just ask questions without having any answers for them. Let them know you just want to hear and understand. Bite your tongue on giving any advice or talking about you. This is just about them. This will build trust and show you truly care only about them.

#2 – Get them active, involved, feeling alive at something positive

Challenge them to go do something with you. Don’t let them be alone in their thoughts all the time. There must be something they love to do or used to love to do. Find out what and go do it. Stay positive the whole time and don’t let there depression dictate the mood of the day. You’re hanging out with someone sick and it’s your job to be the medicine. The medicine is positivity, encouragement, fun and loving on them.

#3 – Send texts of encouragement and truth

My favorite daily readings comes from a book called “Thought Conditioners” by Norman Vincent Peale. He uses the Bible to speak truth into your life and guess what……. it works, it really really works 🙂

Example of one of his daily readings:

The things, which are impossible with men are possible with God. —Luke 18:27

This text shows how to do an “impossible” thing. Size up your problem, pray about it, do all you can about it. If it seems impossible, don’t give up, but affirm, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.”

Keep relaxed. Don’t worry. Avoid getting panicky. Never think, “This can’t be done.” Declare, “It can be done, it is being done because God is doing it through me.” Affirm that the process is in operation. The final outcome may not be entirely what you now desire. But, handled in this manner, the solution will be what God wants it to be.

#4 – Encourage them to get help.

Find a depression counselor and set up an appointment for them. Let them know you’ll pick them up and take them and afterwards go to lunch or something. A lot of times, your loved one, wants help but just can’t do it for themselves. So if you take all the planning or stress our of the positive activity, they’ll be more likely to go.

#5 – Help them to treat themselves better.

Depression affects all sorts of lifestyle changes. A lot of times they forget to treat themselves. So encourage them to do things that are good for their appearance, health and daily routine.

#6 – Appearance

Book a day at the barber or salon. Get your haircut, hair dyed, beard trimmed, new haircut. Make your loved one feel great about themselves. Get some new clothes that look and fit great. This is a great way to break the mindset of someone depressed.

#7 – Health

Be on the lookout for red flags. Are they eating horribly? Are they exercising? Brushing their teeth? Things that might seem simple to us but when your depressed, you seem to forget to do the simplest things, to stay healthy. So make healthy meals together, go on walks together, take or purchase a good multi vitamin. Try to limit unhealthy snacks. Depression is sometimes a direct link to how the body is being treated. Try to implement some healthy lifestyle changes into their life but remember to make it fun! Sometimes walking isn’t that much fun but frisbee golf is. So find creative ways to get them to be healthy.

#8 – Daily Routine

Are they a thermostat or a thermometer? I’m guessing they are a thermometer and the world dictates their mood. So it’s time to coach them to be a thermostat. Have a healthy night routine. Write some things your grateful for before bed. Wake up with an alarm. Start your day with some goals and daily readings that are encouraging and life giving. Don’t let that phone of yours dictate your morning or nights. It’s time for you to set your own mood.

#9 – Go get blood work done

Go to your doctor and get a wellness check. Make sure your body is doing okay. Maybe your loved ones depression is a direct link to something that is going on with their body. It’s always a really good feeling to know everything is okay. If something comes back off, then it’s nice to be able to know what to fix and how.

#10 – Don’t let them talk negative about themselves

Most depression is linked to a poor me attitude and lack of gratitude. Always in a loving way make sure they know not to talk crap about themselves or anybody else. The way you talk about others will directly impact the way you think about yourself. Even if someone is a crappy person, it does nothing for you to talk poorly about them. Find ways to love other people all the time and you will find love for yourself too :). Sometimes you have to fake your inner thoughts and mood to get it to change. So help that loved one with loving themselves all the time.

I hope this helps when it comes to helping your loved ones!!!

Give Thanks!

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” -William Arthur Ward

“We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.” -H.A. Ironside

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” -Gertrude Stein

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” -Doris Day

“No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.” -Alfred North Whitehead

Want to do something right now that will instantly get you in a better mood???

Think of someone who has helped you with something. It could be something as little as saying hello to you or holding the door for you. Send them a message thanking them for that kind gesture. Let them know how it made you feel and your grateful for what they did.

I love all the quotes from above but the one that sticks out the most is:

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” -Gertrude Stein

The reason why this sticks out so much is because I know its the simplest to fix. I am guilty of it and I am sure you are too. It feels so good to hear the simple words, “thank you” from someone that has helped you out.

When you keep helping certain people without them acknowledging your kind act, you start to wonder, are they are even grateful? Then you unintentionally or maybe initially stop with your kind acts towards them. This could be a simple business referral, taking them on outings, watching their kids, dogs, house, anything that would just take a simple “thank you” from them, for you to feel appreciated.

Showing gratefulness to people and seeing good deeds all around you, will help you take your focus away from poor me. It will put your mind on how you can help and recognize, good in other people, then be able to say thanks at those opportune times.

Being depressed is a mindset we have to fix. It’s a mindset of poor me and why is this happening to me, me, me, me, me……. me. If you do anything, try and not focus on you all the time and focus on giving thanks to people that do nice things for you. It’s out there, I promise, but unfortunately you don’t see it all the time, unless your looking for it.

It’s never too late to show gratefulness to someone. This is one that seems awkward but I promise its never too late. So, if you have someone you know you should of said thank you too, back in the day, but didn’t. Send them a message now or give them a call. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, they will love it and you will feel great for doing it.

Giving thanks will give you just as much pleasure as the person receiving it. It’s strange how that works, but we are programmed to love and respect people. Sometimes we think it is a weakness but its not. Its our greatest gift for ourselves and for others.

Give thanks next time you get a referral from someone, don’t do it later, do it then! When someone takes you fishing, hunting, shows you something cool, whatever it might be, tell them thank you and treat them to one of your favorite spots next time. Give thanks to the person holding the door for you or let’s you cut in line cause they can see you’re in a hurry. Remember those kind gestures and then repay that favor to someone else when that opportunity arises .

Giving thanks is so simple but you’ll be surprised how easy it is, not to do it. Change that habit and see your relationships blossom, your mood heighten, and the world will seem better.

There is a catch to all this. Do not expect, a thank you, for doing something nice. Do it because you want to do it. Do it without expecting anything back. You might get people that don’t recognize your good gesture, but don’t let that bother you. If you notice you’re in a one sided relationship and you never receive thank you’s, from a certain person, it might be time to chat with them. Just let them know how you feel and that you love doing stuff for them, but a simple thank you, would mean the world to you. Opening their eyes to this concept will help them. Not with just your relationship but with a lot of their relationships.

Hope you enjoyed this and please share my blog with anybody you know that is struggling. We are all in this together and why not make it a great place to live for every body :).

Once Depressed, Always Depressed?

“Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends, but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.”

When your depressed, its hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel. The best way to describe depression, in my opinion, is from the quote above. It’s horrible and no one understands what you’re going through, except for yourself and others dealing with it too.

So how do you get out of depression and will it come back when you do?

Depression to me is like a small cold that never goes away. Its hardly noticeable at first but you can feel it at times. Then the cold gets worse and you start to have more symptoms. At it’s worst, it turns into pneumonia, your bed ridden and you don’t know how much time you have or how much time you even want. Then you get medicine for it and it seems to settle down. Your life starts to get normal and the symptoms go down. That’s when it figures out how to beat that medicine and kicks your butt again.

Depression is like a cold that will and won’t go away. You just have to figure out what triggers it and try to eliminate those activities, hobbies, habits, relationships, etc…. The horrible thing about depression is once you have it, it’s easier to get, in the future. So we need to find out how to rewire our mind, find our triggers and get our life back.

The worst part of depression for me, is that if I don’t carefully watch out what triggers it, it comes back. Luckily, I’ve realized most of my triggers. I still fail at times but when I do, I can snap back into a non depressed state, really fast.

We need to change the way we think if we want to get out of depression for the long term.

-No more thinking poor me. Depression spreads the fastest when your always thinking about yourself. So we have to combat that with trying to help others and thinking about what we can do for them, to make them the happiest. It’s amazing how we are the happiest when we are thinking of how to help others.

-Knowing your story will change and it’s okay. I never thought my parents would get divorced and my Dad would leave us, in our home state when I was 13. It devastated me for the longest time. He was my best friend and I never understood how a Dad could leave his kids. Now I realize the benefits of him doing this and how it has helped me as a Dad. I ended up moving to the place he moved to and I have fell in love with Montana. I wouldn’t be the Dad I am today, if it wasn’t for me realizing, how I felt back in the day. So I spun my bad story into a positive one. You have to figure out a way to make everything as positive as you can, even when at the time, it’s really shitty. It’s your life, not anybody else, you deserve to be happy and to help others in the same situations you conquered or that your going through.

-Stop doing things you know that are bad for your mental health. I had a friend message me, some time ago, that was talking about their journey with depression. He was saying how he felt great working out, not drinking and being active. He then went to say how it wasn’t sustainable and how he was feeling depressed again. He liked having that occasional beer, didn’t have time to work out, and wasn’t being active. I understand wanting to be normal or thinking you don’t have enough time but when you know how to feel better and what your triggers are, I highly suggest sticking with what works. To me, being happy is worth way more then being comfortable. Being comfortable and complacent is probably what got us into depression and its time to change those habits.

-Hang out with good people and positive people. People that don’t gossip or bring others down. We should all want the best for people. Even if that person has the same profession or hobbies that you have. There is so much business to go around. We should never have a mindset of scarcity but always a mindset of abundance for you and others. You won’t love yourself as much as you deserve if you don’t love others like they deserve. Are you feeling depressed because of the way your seeing others? It’s hard to think, that you being critical of others has a direct link of how hard you are on yourself. Give others and you a break. Love on people and don’t hate.

-Don’t think you need something in the future and then you’ll be happy. You need to be happy with what you have now. If your always happy with what you have and don’t put false expectations, on how you’ll be happy later, if you get a certain something. You’ll have a mindset of gratefulness and gratitude which is the greatest medicine for depression.

Will you always be depressed once you’ve gotten the depression bug???

I truly believe your mind always wants to go back to depression. It doesn’t make sense to me but it is what I have noticed. Luckily depression for me isn’t a constant state of mind anymore. It’s something I can now recognize and I figure out what is making me feel that way. I stop it and the rest of the day I am good. So let’s conquer this depression bug today, tomorrow and everyday. Let’s live our best life and help others and us at the same time.

The Best Advice I ever got THAT DIDN’T WORK

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” 
― Oprah Winfrey

“Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.” 
― Aldous Huxley

“The mind once enlightened cannot again become dark.” 
― Thomas Paine

You ever feel like some people have all the advice in the world but wonder if you should listen to it? This is something that happens daily to most people because people in general love to give “great” advice when they’re not the ones having to do anything.

So who do you listen to and who do you actually gather advice from, in hopes it will help you out?

I base most of these decisions on the person’s life and their actions. Everybody and anybody, is an expert, now a days. So it is up to us, to see if these wise words are coming from a hypocrite or someone who has backed up his/her words with how they live their life.

When I was depressed I sought out advice from a lot of people but a lot of it never seemed to help. The biggest reason, they were never depressed, so they had no idea on what I was going through. They cared but caring doesn’t necessarily mean they know how to help.

Best thing I did was to find books, from authors, that had experienced depression. How they fought it and the steps they took to get out of it. One book I read talked about how eating correctly cured a lot of his stress and anxiety which helped with his depression.

With this knowledge I found out. Part of my depression was lack of energy, which was stemming from the things I was eating, and I had no idea. I thought I was eating healthy but what I didn’t know at the time was, I was allergic to some of those things. I was having huge inflammation issues within my gut, which in turn, was draining me of my energy.

I would of never realized this, without researching others that had struggled with depression too and seen what they did.

Another example from another book, is the way we talk to ourselves throughout the day. I was shocked, once I took note of my subconscious thoughts, what I was telling myself throughout the day. No wonder why I was depressed. My mind was literally feeding my mind with lies all day long. I changed this pattern right away with intentional positive reinforcement, every 15 minutes through out the day. I would have a notecard of all the positive things about myself, even if I thought I didn’t believe it. I would read those words and make sure I believed it. After a week of doing this it was crazy how my subconscious thoughts started to change.

I just want you to know, there are people out there, that have gone through exactly what you are going through now. They want to help you and it is up to us to find them. Its so nice finding a book or person that you can relate to. That way you know there is no made up BS and they can relate.

Be picky on who you take advice from and especially who you take criticism from. If someone hasn’t walked in your shoes or close to it, they might not be the best person to help you get out of it.

I hope this helps you out and let’s get happy and stay happy together!

Caffeine or no caffeine?

One of the biggest obstacles of depression is your energy level. Energy seems to disappear and we need to figure out why.

So what can you do, to get that energy, you need back?

I’m going to crush you a little bit but the answer is to give up caffeine. Or to lower it everyday until your down to a cup of coffee or 100mg a day at most. Caffeine, spikes your natural cortisol levels. It’s your bodies main stress hormone. It controls things like fear, motivation and even your mood.

So if your constantly on the caffeine train to get your energy, your cortisol levels are always unstable. Your getting way too much cortisol levels and then your body crashes way too fast, afterwards. So your in a cycle, of thinking you need more and more caffeine.

The problem is with high cortisol levels (un natural levels because of what caffeine does) comes problems. Anxiety, Depression, trouble sleeping, weight gain, problems with digestion.

With too much caffeine your body is constantly producing too much cortisol, which in turn, is telling your body somethings stressful, somethings wrong, your in danger, etc… It’s literally fueling your fight or flight instincts in your body.

So knowing this you can understand why you might be feeling stressed, anxiety ridden, tired, and fearful all the time. So lets try and get our body back to normal and get our cortisol levels in check.


Here are some things I have done to help with my addiction to caffeine, I hope it helps you as well.

I’ve substituted my normal coffee with decaf coffee. It still has caffeine but at a fraction of normal coffee. I love having coffee in the morning with my wife, so this helps with that craving. Good news, it taste the exact same!

If I’m tired throughout the day, I do some yoga poses, pushups, pull ups, ab training, or I go for a walk. When your active, you create energy. Energy doesn’t just happen by itself, you must create it, by making yourself start something active. It might seem impossible but it works!

I hope this helps you out in your journey to a better life :).

Feel free to comment below on your success with these tips or give me more tips that have worked for you, thanks 🙂

Are you fueling or smothering your depression?

“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.” 
― Ernest Hemingway

When your depressed all you want to do is be “happy”. You’ll do just about anything to get a quick fix of happiness. Just something that you can feel that doesn’t feel like death.

The problem is, a lot of times what you choose, is fueling your depression.

This is hard to hear, so please be open minded. We need to redirect our negative thoughts of poor me and divert it to, am I doing this to myself? You’ll have to be in a mindset of I’m willing to be honest with myself in the hopes of gaining my life and happiness back.

Example: For me in particular and my journey with depression, I found out my unhealthy happiness was coming from two particular things. Unhealthy hobbies, that could be great hobbies, if it wasn’t taking over things that were more important. 2nd was Amazon and purchasing things. It gave me such a high and I could rationalize needing it and making it okay every time.

I was addicted to fly fishing in particular. It consumed me. I would watch videos all day, learn every knot, take trips all over, and buy fly fishing things I didn’t need. Fly fishing is healthy right??? It is, but it has to be something you do as a hobby, not something that you obsess over. Anything you obsess over more than getting your life in order, you need to try and back out of it.

When your depressed there are things in your life that you have neglected. Spouse, kids, finances, bills, yourself, etc…. You need to put a halt on the things your trying to escape from and work on those things that you know that need attention. Just start with one thing and do something about it once a day. They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit. So try it out for 21 days and see how it is helping your life and your depression.

Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

2nd thing I personally did was, I got a high from spending money on materialistic things. I think everybody does but for me this was causing tons of anxiety and depression. Finally admitting it and cancelling my amazon account was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m realizing you don’t need anything materialistic to be happy. Having more stuff is really, in my opinion, a lot more stressful. We are in the process right now of selling tons of stuff! The whole movement on less is more, is so true.

I’m not sure if you’re a believer or not but I know now everything I have is not mine, its Jesus’s. He can take it all away at anytime and he can also give so much more at anytime. So to worry about stuff, was really bogging me down, so now I don’t.

The biggest way to get out of depression is if you know something is triggering it, stop it! Right away. No regret and no looking back. You’ll always be glad you did something today then thinking back in 20 years, I wish I would of done that then. The best time to take control is now, that’s all we are guaranteed.

So now when I want to fly fish or hunt, I make sure I make it a trip based on relationships. I never go alone unless I need a day of meditation. Relationships are one of the biggest blessing we have in this life and I make sure I capitalize on that.

I never buy anything unless I talk to my wife first or I think about it for a couple days. Pulse buying is what got me in trouble and when you have time to think about something, you can make sure it is a necessity, it’s in the budget, it is something your doing for yourself and not just to look cool.

Are you fueling your depression or are you smothering it?

You got this!! You can do it! Your best self is ready to shine again 🙂

We all have a lot to live for I promise you!! These are two of the cutest things I live for now and they are the best 🙂

The power of Activity.

One of the biggest obstacles to get over when your depressed is to have daily activity. The truth is, when your depressed, you don’t even want to get out of bed, most days. So the idea of getting out of bed and doing something active probably is the last thing you want to do. Especially if that activity, involves having to be around people.

The problem with Depression, is that it constantly feeds you lies. It’s like a really bad friend, that you know you need to get rid of, but for some reason you hang onto.

It’s really hard to do, but do everything opposite that depression is telling you to do.

-Be Grateful (Never let your mind feel sorry for yourself. It feels good in a weird way but I promise you, it’s not healthy. So let your thoughts dwell on the things your grateful for throughout the day)

-Be Active (Join a gym, go on hikes, ride your bike, play golf, take your kids to the park, etc…)

-Surround yourself with people you want to be like (You’ll never be who you want to be, hanging around people, that are in the same mental state as you)

The last thing I wanted to do, when I was in the deepest part of my depression, was to workout. Now that I look back, it was the best thing I did for myself. You get natural endorphins pumping through your body and you feel great. I have never once went to the gym and after my workout, thought to myself, that was a waste of time. It’s always one of the best parts of my day.

I challenge you to find something you can get involved in, that is activity based. Something to get your blood pumping and that you have human interaction with. I know its going to seem impossible but remember getting out of depression, is a one day at a time kind of solution, not a instant fix.

Its a new day and lets do this!! Your best life is waiting for you and its time to start today.

“For me, exercise is more mental than physical. I crave it for my sanity. Not just the endorphins, but my energy, confidence, and relaxation are all motivated by it.” ~ Jonathan Keltz

“Now, I’m no scientist, but I know what endorphins are. They’re tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they’re saying and that boosts your health and happiness. “Knock Knock… Who’s There?.. Little endorphin… Little endorphin who?… Little Endorphin Annie.” And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.” ~ Ellen DeGeneres